I’m Just Glad I’m No Longer Empty

I don’t care if I say, “I just wrote a blog post about the migratory habits of sea snails with hip dysplasia.” There are only two acceptable responses:

  1. I can’t wait to read your blog post.
  2. I’m dumb as a box of rocks and only read ice cream labels while sitting on the toilet, but I can’t wait to read your blog post.

Keywords: “I can’t wait to read your blog post.”

Never mind that the blog post might be poorly written. Never mind that you don’t give a damn about sea snails … you best give a damn about the things I do. Caring about that is caring about me.