Sometimes I dream I’m back in Florida. Nothing really happens. I’m usually just driving over the Gandy Bridge to St. Pete or walking around Ybor or pulling up on Siesta Key or riding my bike in South Tampa. Lately, I’ve started to think those dreams aren’t just about Florida. Maybe they’re my mom’s way of talking to me.
I’m going to suck it up and see “Get Out.” The way my anxiety is set up though, I had to have someone close to me see it first. Thank God I live with one of my besties. Right after she saw the movie, I grilled her on it. She approved my watching, but suggested I have a cocktail in the beginning. Chile … she had me at cocktail! 😉
Many years ago, way back when I first met my homeboy Doug, we mentioned becoming Facebook friends. The conversation went something like this:
Doug: “Aight, cool. Send me a request.”
Me: Staring at him like he’d lost his mind. “Nah, you send me a request! I don’t send people friend requests!”
Doug: Staring back at me as if I’d lost my mind first. “I don’t either!”
Me: “Well I guess we aint gone be friends!”
That’s what I liked about Doug. His ego was as big as mine.
I’m so sick of Barack and Michelle’s Obama’s vacation. Why is Barack Obama so happy while over half of the country is miserable? Why doesn’t he MISS us?! We need to force his ass to come back to work.
I hate reading on social media about immigration. It just shows how uninformed and utterly lacking in compassion many Americans are. You can spend 20 years legally navigating through our immigration process and still not be a citizen. And if you have children here, they can’t even START the process and sponsor you until they’re over the age of 20. Becoming an American citizen is hard, expensive, and takes a long time. As such, I feel confident saying that if your first words are “deport them” in the immigration debate, you are a dick. And apparently, that’s something YOU’VE spent 20 years working on. Being a dick.
Have you heard about what happened in New Orleans yet?
I have a buddy there. Today, I sent her a Snapchat message and asked if she was okay. She is. Her soror, who’s home (along with her newly remodeled kitchen) ended up across the street? Maybe not so much. Thankfully, the dog survived inside the house as it was relocated. Grim stuff.
The same people that pray for Bishop Eddie Long condemn out and honest gay people. Kim Burrell gave a sermon condemning homosexuality, but had plans to perform on “Ellen,” even though Ellen is the gayest woman in America. The black church has a message problem. Just be anti-gay and stay that way and stop soliciting money, talent, and exposure from the very people you condemn.
And yes, I know Shirley Caesar came out in support of Kim Burrell. I’m not surprised and I don’t care because Shirley Ceasar is a gospel thug and I love her. You ain’t black unless you’ve got an old, religious, homophobic family member that you still like. YOU NAME IT!!!
You ever wake up, get dressed and walk out the door feeling like Brad Pitt, just to pass by a mirror and see you’re looking more like Jack Nicholson? That shit just happened to me this morning. Freaking Mondays.
Pope Francis has given priests the right to forgive abortions. This just happened in 2016. Before this year, I guess you just drowned in a pool of your own shame, guilt, and regret. If ever there was a religion to wrap you in the weight of your own inadequacies, it’s Catholicism. It’s a wonder every serial killer hasn’t been a Catholic. Can you imagine living your whole life without forgiveness? That’s enough to drive someone mad.
Some things in this life just flummox me. Things like:
Toilet Design. I have Squatty Potty’s in all of my bathrooms. It has changed my life. Why in the world are toilets still designed the same? Like, who is the guy in charge of the toilet companies that’s saying, “Skip what we’ve learned about the colon, toilets aren’t going to change!!!”
Overweight vegetarians. I will give you a pass if you just started a year ago, but five years later, I have to ask what’s happening. What in the hell are you putting in your broccoli dish?! And why in the world would anyone give up burgers and bacon if they weren’t going to get skinny?
By now, I imagine acceptance has set in that Donald Trump is our president. Fortunately, I’ve prepared myself. After the Bernie fiasco, I knew we were headed for trouble, and by the time the debates were coming to an end, it seemed clear that even those rejecting Trump’s rhetoric weren’t prepared to embrace Clinton.
Actually, even Democrats struggled to embrace Clinton. How many of us voted for Bernie? Even the traditionally staunch and dependable black community showed trepidation. Black Twitter trending #GirlIGuessImWithHer said it all. Hillary Clinton faced a country wanting something new, especially after 8 years with a Democratic president, and what she brought to the table was an old name and nothing inspiring. Her years of experience were overshadowed by the years of having actually experienced her.
I can’t write anything else. I just can’t. But you can go read about it at the Huffington Post. May he rest in peace.
People are still talking about Colin Kaerpernick and it makes me want to throw up. He’s speaking about injustice, in particular racial injustice, and critics are still trying to pick his stance apart. As if caring about injustice is criminal.
People will look you in the eye and say they aren’t racist (and believe it), but reactions tell a different story.
I find it odd that people are so up in arms about Colin Kaepernick. It’s as if we forget why this country was founded.
Freedom. Freedom of speech. The freedom to protest against conditions in this country and even its government. But I tell you, the minute a person of color appears even remotely interested in protest, people are angry.
This meme … I tell ya. I remember being in the art supply aisle drooling at this box of crayons. I’d probably have sold my little soul if someone offered them to me. Crayola was life.
I never did get this box. We were too poor.
Maybe a year or two ago, I purchased the Crayola Ultimate Crayon Collection for my niece. 152 crayons. Crayon sharpener. Multi-tiered, four-sided case. As she opened the box, I admired it with pride. I never would’ve dreamed of owning that set of crayons as a kid.
Some of my friends have been on Facebook sharing the Huffington Post blog post “Why I Won’t Buy One Extra Box of Kleenex for my Kid’s School Supplies,” and like most, I clicked on the article expecting to read complaints about the price of school supplies. After all, even during the tax free weekends and times when the supplies are marked down, purchasing just one entire list can make a dent in the pockets. Instead, I was happily surprised to find a blog post written about social responsibility. The clickbait title instead led you to a blog post admonishing people’s selfishness and complaints about helping children and teachers. The author really got it right!
I tried out Pokémon GO this week. After walking around the office for a few minutes, I decided I’d rather not be unemployed. Yall enjoy that though!
Speaking of Pokémon GO, as cute as the experience is, I can’t help but find the premise flawed. We are already drones to our phones, walking around aimlessly, bumping into things and not paying attention. We do that just to check text messages. People have fallen off cliffs or hurt themselves. Now, who decided this state of being should be a GAME?! And then, they didn’t even consult Google Maps! Got freaking Pokestops in the middle of traffic. Come on Nintendo. Yall can afford to do better.
I was standing in the Philadelphia Airport when I first heard about the attacks in Istanbul. Not long after, my flight was delayed. As I sat around, nearly touching people because so many were delayed, it occurred to me how vulnerable we all were. Does anyone really believe the TSA can protect us? I was selected to be patted down because I forgot to take my laptop out of my carry-on bag. As I stood there with my arms up, I couldn’t help but think about how much time was being wasted feeling me up. The type of people who want to hurt others aren’t as careless as me. They’re not stupid. They won’t get caught unless they want to be. The reality is, we aren’t safe. Luckily, my boss is well aware of my anxiety and as I started babbling about Istanbul, she leaned over and said, “Don’t worry, we will be fine. If you want some attention, you blow up New York, not Philadelphia.” It was a nice moment of levity. I needed that … but I’m not stupid enough to believe it’s true. Bad things happen everywhere. Father, protect me and those I love.
My girlfriend and I broke up some time ago, though I’m more inclined to say I was dumped. It happened in true Millennial fashion. We got into an argument. I expressed myself and shared my doubts, suggesting maybe we should break up. From there, she clammed up and stopped taking my calls or answering my texts. Then she deleted me off Snapchat. Today, we no longer speak and I doubt I’ll ever see her again. In her defense, it probably sucks to hear your girlfriend say she maybe wants out. In my defense, I said “maybe,” and expressing a doubt should never end a relationship. A relationship should end because two people converse and decide to end it. Nothing was decided together! She’s just gone! So yes, I was dumped. Pure foolishness.