Thursday’s Blurbs … The Flummox Edition

Some things in this life just flummox me. Things like:

squatty-potty

Photo: www.squattypotty.com

Toilet Design. I have Squatty Potty’s in all of my bathrooms. It has changed my life. Why in the world are toilets still designed the same? Like, who is the guy in charge of the toilet companies that’s saying, “Skip what we’ve learned about the colon, toilets aren’t going to change!!!”

Overweight vegetarians. I will give you a pass if you just started a year ago, but five years later, I have to ask what’s happening. What in the hell are you putting in your broccoli dish?! And why in the world would anyone give up burgers and bacon if they weren’t going to get skinny?

President Trump

fb_img_1478673580435

By now, I imagine acceptance has set in that Donald Trump is our president. Fortunately, I’ve prepared myself. After the Bernie fiasco, I knew we were headed for trouble, and by the time the debates were coming to an end, it seemed clear that even those rejecting Trump’s rhetoric weren’t prepared to embrace Clinton.

Actually, even Democrats struggled to embrace Clinton. How many of us voted for Bernie? Even the traditionally staunch and dependable black community showed trepidation. Black Twitter trending #GirlIGuessImWithHer said it all. Hillary Clinton faced a country wanting something new, especially after 8 years with a Democratic president, and what she brought to the table was an old name and nothing inspiring. Her years of experience were overshadowed by the years of having actually experienced her.

Every press conference Colin Kaepernick participates in proves we aren’t doing enough

colinkaepernicktimemagazine

People are still talking about Colin Kaerpernick and it makes me want to throw up. He’s speaking about injustice, in particular racial injustice, and critics are still trying to pick his stance apart. As if caring about injustice is criminal.

People will look you in the eye and say they aren’t racist (and believe it), but reactions tell a different story.

Every kid deserves a pencil

Some of my friends have been on Facebook sharing the Huffington Post blog post “Why I Won’t Buy One Extra Box of Kleenex for my Kid’s School Supplies,” and like most, I clicked on the article expecting to read complaints about the price of school supplies. After all, even during the tax free weekends and times when the supplies are marked down, purchasing just one entire list can make a dent in the pockets. Instead, I was happily surprised to find a blog post written about social responsibility. The clickbait title instead led you to a blog post admonishing people’s selfishness and complaints about helping children and teachers. The author really got it right!

Thursday’s Blurbs …

I tried out Pokémon GO this week. After walking around the office for a few minutes, I decided I’d rather not be unemployed. Yall enjoy that though!

Speaking of Pokémon GO, as cute as the experience is, I can’t help but find the premise flawed. We are already drones to our phones, walking around aimlessly, bumping into things and not paying attention. We do that just to check text messages. People have fallen off cliffs or hurt themselves. Now, who decided this state of being should be a GAME?! And then, they didn’t even consult Google Maps! Got freaking Pokestops in the middle of traffic. Come on Nintendo. Yall can afford to do better.

The problem with these dang student loans …

Photo: Navient.com homepage

Photo: Navient.com homepage

I’m back to paying Sallie Mae (the loan shark currently known as Navient). After a year of fighting for lower payments, I’ve finally gotten my payment slightly below $200, though I was hoping to get it below $150. However, given that six months after I graduated they wanted almost $700 and all of these years later, the lowest I’d gotten my payment do was about $360, I decided to accept this defeat with a whimper. So yeah, I paid them, then spent my long weekend on the couch. Sallie has taken my summer. BITCH!

Tuesday’s Blurbs …

Tuesday’s Blurbs …

I’m a firm believer in voting. Even after some of you finish your “it’s all rigged anyway” argument, I still want to know why you didn’t vote. My argument is, “so what if it is rigged?” Nothing will change the fact that blacks, and all people, have AND still die and fight for the right to vote. Too often, having a voice is a not a right, but a privilege. So whether or not you believe your voice can be a deciding factor, I still think you owe it to your ancestors to cast a ballot whenever you can. Voting is a first world problem I can get behind.

Wednesday’s Blurbs …

MeWork-WebI think I’ve re-injured my ankle. I can’t even begin to tell you how traumatic this is for me. Last year, after 31 years of being an able bodied, “clumsy, yet never been hurt or ever felt my weight even though I’m obese” person, I fell and severely sprained my ankle. This injury changed my life. For the first time, ever, I felt my body when I walked. Suddenly, my lack of athleticism mattered, because I was at the mercy of my own clumsiness, often having to painfully catch myself on the crutches before tripping. And, almost immediately, every ill advised eating decision I ever made literally weighed on me as I shuffled uncomfortably along on crutches. Basically, I was all fucked up. And now, there’s a chance I’m right back where I started. Heaven help me. PIMP DOWN!!!

Wednesday’s Blurbs …

heartsYears ago, my relationship was on life support. Not even a desperate shopping spree to load my girlfriend up with her favorite things could save us. Not long after, we cut the cord and began dating other people. However, there was something inside of me that couldn’t entirely let go. Perhaps it was that I loved her so much. More than likely, it was that I was an immature, selfish, butthead that wanted my girlfriend back the minute I saw her happy with someone else. Either way, I concocted a plan to get her back. Of course it was poorly thought out and destined to fail, because truthfully, neither one of us were really interested in rekindling the flame. I won’t bore you with talk of my desperate attempts at romance, though the Valentine’s Day gift of towering balloons, cheese and wine was quite the spectacle. Nor will I recap the painful lunch where I let her know she needed to let the “new boo” go. What I will do, instead, is take this time out to say “Ted Cruz.”

Thursday’s Blurbs … Rest In Paradise Prince

Prince-s-passport-photo-jpgPrince is dead at age 57. His publicist has confirmed it. You can watch live coverage hereLord have mercy, not the great purple one! My heart is just too heavy. The only positive thing I can think to say at this moment is that, in addition to his amazing music catalog, he has left behind the world’s fiercest passport photo. Rest in Paradise my brother. There may never be another like you. A true original.

Lets take a moment of silence for Prince, and then fill the rest of the day with his music. We’ll be rocking all night!

 

Wednesday’s Blurbs …

beetsThis morning I had to get my niece off to school. When it was all said and done, I was sweating, my niece’s hair was flying out of her two ponytails, we lost an extra five minutes on the clock because I had to give her a tutorial on beets and beet juice (random, I know),  AND she was almost an hour late. As I sped towards her school, eating my Chick-n-Mini’s from Chick-fil-A, it occurred to me that I didn’t even give a damn about their stance towards gay people. I was just glad I could afford to feed the kid something other than McDonalds. As she climbed out of the car and ran into the school, all I could do was smile. She hadn’t finished her Chick-n-Mini’s or orange juice. I demolished her leftovers with glee. Some good came from this shit-tastic morning after all … yep, never having kids. I hear you universe!

Tuesday’s Blurbs …

judging
I’m not unfriending Trump supporters on Facebook, assuming they haven’t already unfriended me. This is not meant as an indictment of those who choose to do so (you might not need that negativity in your life), I’m just not doing the same. Personally, I feel so accomplished that I’m not overly affected by people that disagree with me. After I’ve shaken my head in shock, I pretty much go back to thinking about my own awesomeness and remembering “I’m gone be alright!” So as long as you’re not posting, “Hang the nigger” memes, I don’t see why we can’t be civil. I’m perfectly fine with talking about something we have in common. Like delicious food. Everybody cares about delicious food.

It’s Super Tuesday. This time tomorrow, we’ll have a clearer picture of our political future. If ever I was meant to be knocked out and in a coma for a year, I’d ask for it to happen now, because its going to be a long 8 months and I wouldn’t mind missing the nonsense.

“Interior decorating has come a long way since father first papered the parlor.”

Pretty incredible, isn’t it? How far interior decorating has come. I’ll never look at old wallpaper the same again! The printing process, and all of the people involved, had me spellbound. I almost studied printing in college, and even back then, the machines were amazing. Pre-mixed colors in a can! And the last time I did a press check, I didn’t even see paint. The room was so clean.

Technology is a beast!

Wednesday’s Blurbs …

MarshawnMcCarrel

MarShawn McCarrel II | Copyright: Facebook

MarShawn McCarrel did more for people in his short life that some of us will ever do. But compassion and empathy comes with a hefty price tag on the soul. Rest in peace brother. #BlackLivesMatter

Bernie Sanders took the Democratic New Hampshire primary. I know Hillary’s drawls ain’t touching her nowhere! I still don’t buy that Bernie can win in the general election, but hell, I didn’t think President Obama had a chance either. Life can be so sweet when I’m wrong.

Gas is so cheap, I’m almost afraid to buy it. There’s gotta be a catch! What’s the catch?!

I’m a “Thug” Too!

OfficerBenFields

Officer Ben Fields

Recently, in a South Carolina classroom, Officer Ben Fields flipped and dragged a teenage girl from her desk. Fortunately, he has been fired, unfortunately, his dismissal does little to soothe wounds left behind by the proliferation of videos showing officers assaulting women, namely black women, with little recourse. Even more troubling, the women in these videos are getting younger.

And you know what’s infuriating? Reading or hearing comments from people who have taken it upon themselves to label these teenage girls, none of whom appear on camera assaulting anyone, as “thugs.” If you recall, one of the first “thugs” appeared in a bathing suit, because nothing says “thug life” like a pool party.