Friday’s Blurbs: Dating Edition …

How many of yall are actually dating? Yesterday, the response to my Facebook Blurbs left me wondering chile. I said I had a boo thang and folks started sending me congratulations. Mind you, I didn’t say I had a girlfriend or that I was engaged or that I was celebrating my anniversary. I’m just dating somebody. Why are you so excited? Dating is normal. Don’t you date?

Let me tell you, I used to be a serial dater. I’ve been out with so many women, I can’t remember them all. I’ll be on a dating app or see a woman in public, experience deja vu, and wonder if it isn’t because I bought her ass dinner!

Therapy changes things though. I spent most of this year alone and when I decided to jump back into the pool, I did so with purpose. Working on my mental and emotional health finally has all of my dating experience forming into conscious, healthy decisions. It’s not just about someone cute and sex and easing my loneliness anymore.

But mannnn … HOE USED TO BE LIFE! I had so much fun. I would do it all over again. Especially since, having experienced it, I damn for sure aint missing it now. The clinic aint what’s up.

I can’t speak for you, so don’t come talking shit on my damn post, but for ME (a person that practices monogamy), relationships have five steps:

STEP 1: We talking. 
Meaning, we be texting when we bored and saying we’re going to do shit we never do. We don’t know if we like each other. I don’t give a shit who you dating, cause I’m texting you and whomever else bored too.

STEP 2: We dating.
We like each other, so we’re spending time together to see if it’s more. I might even consider you a boo thang. We actively attempt to do the shit we say we’re going to do. We are having fun. We are also free to date others, because it aint that serious yet.

STEP 3: We go together. 
You done graduated from “boo thang” to “girlfriend.” We are committed and no longer free to date others. We REALLY like each other. Hell, if we make it past a year or two, we gone move in together!

STEP 4: We engaged. 
This shit done got real. Not only are you not free to date anyone else, but I’m gone fuck you up on sight if I THINK you tryna date someone else. I done low key took money from my 401(k) to get your expensive ass ring. That’s how much you mean to me. Hell, I even changed my cell phone wallpaper from my face to yours.

STEP 5: We married. 
You on my insurance. Go head and cheat if you want to bitch … I will empty your savings account. But yeah girl, we in love. You the love of my life. I don’t ever want to live without you. Couldn’t we be, be, happily, ever afterrrrrrrr!!!

We gone see where I end up. Shaq Diesel got so much love to offer. It’s gone take a real one to get on this insurance. I’m looking for her though. LOVE IS LIFE.

Happy FriYAY!

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