Yesterday I worked from home. I was in a meeting when my niece came into my office with a swollen face. Between helping TiTi juice (more on that later) and pollen season, who knows what set her off. I can’t even begin to describe the panic I experienced. Next thing I know, I’m sweating in Walgreens, (with my meeting muted on speaker phone), and begging the pharmacist to save my niece. An understanding smile, and two bottles of Benedryl later, the kid was watching cartoons and I was back to believing children aren’t for me. I imagine the extreme worry I feel for my niece would only be amplified by a child of my own. I just don’t need the damn stress.
Speaking of family, while walking at the lake I encountered a duck family. The parents were walking around the baby ducks like angry birds and watching those kids like a hawk. Puns intended. Anyways, it occurred to me that even in the animal kingdom, parenting is stressful. All of the other ducks were eating and swimming meanwhile, Ma and Pa duck were on guard. I swear the universe is giving me signs parenting ain’t for me.
Yesterday I juiced. All day. I swear, everything I looked at morphed into food. On various occasions, I was daydreaming I was eating fish or in a Thai restaurant. Juicing has truly taught me the importance of self love. We must love the body we’re in, because some of us won’t ever live in the ideal body. I’m one of those people. Anyways, I’m going to try and juice for a few more days. We’ll see how it turns out. I’m liable to look at my niece and see a damn steak dinner.
Sometimes I feel like I want to walk away from everything. My house, my job, my family … all of it. I’m glad I can’t figure out what I would do or where I would go, because if I had those answers, I’d probably jump ship. And what I’ve learned in life, is that running away doesn’t solve any problems. It just creates new ones. The only true path to happiness is dealing with your shit. Nobody said life was supposed to be easy. It’s just good to be alive.