My new upstairs neighbor is a single mom. She promptly introduced herself last night and let me know she had a 3 year old. Clearly, she was preparing me for all of the damn noise I was about to hear. That little girl hasn’t sit her butt down yet.
It’s also clear that she has me confused with all those fat ass, smiling, black ladies she used to see on syrup bottles, because when it comes to my money, I don’t give two shits about her or that future track star she’s raising. I’m going to talk to her tonight and she’s got a week to get little baby Jackie Joyner-Kersee in line before I start harassing the landlord and contemplating calling the police.
Shaquea loves the kids, but only if they live on the ground floor.