I Don’t Fuck With Flipper!

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Aww, isn’t this a cute picture? Umm…NO! In this life, one should never judge a book by it’s cover. ShaqWorld.com does not support any human, unscientific contact with dolphins! ESPECIALLY CHILDREN!

Flipper. Free Willy. Winter from Dolphin Tale. These are all kid-friendly movies/characters. You watch them, you say “Aww” and you laugh, meanwhile, your kid wants a dolphin toy and can’t wait for you to spend an exorbitant amount of money, at an aquarium or amusement park, so that they can get a picture kissing one. You think this is okay. I think it’s child abuse. Read on to learn why.

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6 Things You Never Wanted to Know About Flipper:

  • Dolphins rape, and not just one rape, but gang rape. That’s right, hide ya kids, hide ya wives, hide ya husbands! The dolphins raping out here! So how does this happen? Well, they hoard a poor animal into an underwater rape cave and then they take turns raping the poor thing until it dies. This can take weeks. They will also do this to human beings. 3-14 cases a year are reported of a dolphin raping a human being. More than likely, there are more cases, but the people never live to tell the story. Now, if you want to get scientific, “rape” is a human term, more than a scientific one concerning dolphins. Apparently, these dolphins don’t see their behavior as wrong. Lets see how you feel if Flipper corners you!
  • Dolphins are so good at rape because they have a prehensile penis. A prehensile penis is incredibly strong and capable of wrapping around objects.
  • Other than primates, dolphins are the only animal recorded to have sex, purely for pleasure. They also engage in bisexual and homosexual orgies. Yes, I said orgies. Freaky bastards! So they don’t just rape…they enjoy it.
  • A killer whale is a dolphin. That’s right. Free Willy is Flippers cousin. He’s just a big ass dolphin. And they’re quite fond of killing people. Think SeaWorld.
  • Dolphins haven’t just been trained to dive and locate things underwater, They have also been trained in combat. That’s right, a dolphin can kick your ass!
  • Dolphins will savagely beat and kill other baby dolphins and baby porpoises. Why? After everything you’ve just read, the real question is, “Why not?”

Not feeling freaked out enough yet? Here’s a video that will make you think twice about swimming with dolphins. Around the .33 mark, you’re going to get a look at that prehensile penis and then you’ll freak out:


This creepy dolphin has a story: Stinky the Creeper

And here is another creepy ass video!

And here are some articles to read, in case you don’t believe a word I say:

The Dark Side of Flipper

Dolphin-Assisted Birth—Possibly the Worst Idea, Ever!

The Dark Secrets

Like I said, I don’t fuck with Flipper! If God wanted me to kick it with dolphins, he’d have given me a damn blowhole!

 

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