My First 20 Minute Bike Ride


Feb. 23, 2013. Sweet baby Jesus. That was the longest 20 minutes of my life!

My Thoughts:

  • I’m sweating like a 500 pound man, on Mars, in a velour suit and a helmet. Dayum! The plan was to come in after the bike ride and make a breakfast smoothie. Now I’m sitting down and don’t want to get up and make the smoothie. Tragic.
  • I’m so grateful for all of the gears, brake settings, shock and bump control settings. I was able to adjust the bike to fit the streets and it helped so much. With any other bike, I’d have been done in 10 minutes. South Tampa is NOT level.
  • I highly recommend a bike if you don’t want to do a gym. While it was tiresome, I really had fun doing it. The wind is in your hair and you feel like a kid again. You also notice all the things in your neighborhood that you don’t see in a car. It was a fun workout.
  • By the time I got done buying the bike, accessories, maintenance plans and bike rack, I was maxed out on my budget. Figured it would be no big deal to wait til payday for my helmet. The devil is a liar. I can’t believe I ever felt safe without one!
  • People usually look annoyed when they see bikers, and they swerve to get around them. Most of the people that saw me just smiled and nodded. I’ve had people yell encouragement when they’ve seen me walking too. I feel safe saying that people are nice to fat people exercising. Thank God, cause I’ve seen a skinny woman get harassed while power walking and a skinny guy get hit by a car while jogging. Sometimes being fat is a superpower.
  • Now that the pain is easing and I’m breathing normal and the sweat is drying, I can think. And all that I’m thinking about is the fact that Tampa’s water is contaminated and I can’t shower. SONOFABITCH!!!

PS: No way you fuckers were getting a picture of me sweating like this. Just unattractive. Catch me next year, bitches!