Date night cost me over $100. Everything is high as hell. I talked my way into a small discount at the movie theater and still spent $24. To see “Finding Dory.” What are the kids paying?! Japanese food is never cheap. Bartenders gotta be tipped. At this point in life and the economy, if we not in love, we don’t need to damn date. I’m starting to understand why so many are on the “Netflix and Chill” tip. I mean, even if the date was dutch, I’d have still spent over $50! Spending that kind of money just to “hope” somebody is engaging just don’t seem worth it. I got a mortgage!
So how do people that make minimum wage date? How do single mothers date? How do men who pay child support date? Yall gotta be creative. It’s a dude packing a picnic basket right now! She think he romantic. He done read my post. And quiet as it kept, unless he get food stamps, he done broke the bank to pack that picnic basket! You low key eating blocks of cheap cheese. Gouda prices are through the roof!
I ain’t even in love with this woman. When I was getting my thoughts in order for today’s Blurbs, for a moment, I considered kicking her out my house! It’s not that I’m mad at her. I actually like her. I just don’t like how expensive life is. Do you know, after that damn over $100 date, we ended back at my house to watch Orange Is The New Black?! Bihhh … we could’ve started with that and enjoyed our evening for FREE! Instead, I wake up on the couch looking crazy and broke. We were so tired from the date, OITNB watched us. That was an over $100 nap! I had to take a walk this morning and type out my broke (Yes, I write while walking). Now I gotta go to work broke. We better fall in love dammit!!!
Did you notice I said the movie cost $24 after the discount?! What was it before?! Movies cost more everyday. I paid that in the South. What are they paying in New York or San Francisco?! Movies aren’t even a cheap date anymore. Now you need to be in love to take somebody to the movies. No wonder kids are so damn bad and in so much trouble these days. Most of their parents can’t afford to let the movies babysit them on Friday.
How about, at the end of the over $100 date, I was eager to check the final score of the NBA Finals. I’m not a big basketball fan, but I’ve followed the Warriors and after the season they’ve had, I was looking forward to them clinching the title. My date was rooting for the Cavs and had already told me they would win. I ignored her. Fast forward to me checking the scores and seeing LeBron’s excited face. I looked at her and she gave me this maniacal grin and said, “Told you so.” At that moment, I wanted to unpay for all the shit she’d just consumed. Should’ve took her ass home on the spot … but we got some love to fall into.
Happy Monday. Don’t be a sucka … if you single, don’t mingle!