For those of you that don’t know, I am co-host of Oral Fixation. It’s the only lgbtq open mic in Tampa. I also read at every event. Sometimes it’s a poem, sometimes it’s a rant, all the time, it’s straight from the heart. This past Oral Fixation, a few attendee’s requested the poem outside of the event. As such, I’ve posted it here for you all to see! And in case you’re curious about Oral Fixation, I’ve attached our poster after the poem, designed by yours truly.
When we broke up, I lost weight
Not because I was
Working out at home or exercising in the gym
I simply stopped eating so much
I mean, we were no longer taking our broken relationship to restaurants and ordering food to bury our dysfunction in
Acting like being there together meant there was some love left to be in
Because you know how it gets near the end…
You start to play pretend
See, this thing happens when you first fall in love where everything is…
You’re high on each other, floating on cloud nine
Always eating in restaurants because you’re going out all the time
And somewhere along the line
Your favorite nook, in your favorite spot, becomes a symbol of what your love is all about
Basically, we begin to associate eating out with being in love
And so naturally, when it’s all falling apart
If maybe you can go back to your favorite restaurant and recapture those moments that made you love her
But wishful thinking is always a muthafucka
And all you’re really doing is frontin in them restaurants and getting fatter and becoming more miserable
All she has to do is say one wrong thing and your ass is hysterical
You hit the point where you only get along when you CHEW
Meaning, if my fucking mouth stops moving at this table for more than a few seconds,
I will start to go the fuck off on you
So hell yeah,
I LOST WEIGHT!
It’s amazing what happens when you stop gorging yourself to ebb the flow of rage and unhappiness and hate
I got my ass out of those restaurant booths with you and started feeling great!
And wouldn’t you know…
I found out that by putting down that fork and that spoon
I could then pick BACK UP
Everything I’d dropped when I was with you
Like my ambition
And my self-confidence
I felt so good
I dropped one size and the shit felt like 10!
And then I started doing everything I said I’d do,
But somehow never got around too, when I was with you
Funny, but a lot of it is similar to all the shit you complained your ex would never do
But somehow got into, once she wasn’t with you
And I even stopped drinking so much…
Okay, I’m lyin…
But I did replace a lot of that hard liquor with wine
But most importantly,
I started to remember how to enjoy my life.
And I started finding my way back to who I was before I got with you
And then I reintroduced myself to that open, kind, trusting woman that fell for you.
And then I started to remember when and why I once loved you
I stopped being mad at you.
You see…When we broke up, I didn’t just lose weight
I lost bitterness
And with that, came the understanding that despite what we’d been through, I was a better person because I’d once loved you.
And now I’m a better woman because I was strong enough to say goodbye to you
Don’t remember to click and save our poster, below!