Middle Finger Up to the Fat Shamers!

#everyBODYisflawless from gabifresh on Vimeo.

This video is too cute! It features plus-size fashion models GABIFRESH, Nadia Aboulhosn, and Tess Munster. Shout-out to the fat people that love themselves, because Lord knows we’ve got a whole segment of the population that wants us to hate ourselves. I tell ya, fat shaming is not cool!

UPDATE: You should support the documentary below. It’s about plus-size models and looks really awesome!

Let me start by saying that BODY shaming is a problem on every end of the spectrum. For every two assholes that wants to talk about a fat girl, there’s one that wants to talk about a skinny girl. Or a girl with hair on her face. Or a girl with cankles. The problem is that, we are entirely too busy talking about other people and THEIR bodies! We ought to spend more time minding our own business and even more time encouraging each other. After all, if you don’t prefer a specific look, you have the option of changing the way you look and/or not dating someone that looks that way.

So why do I feel the need to write about fat shaming? Because it has become the new normal to mistreat, ridicule and disparage people who carry extra weight and I find it incredibly mean spirited, frustrating and hateful. My issue isn’t with people expressing their opinions about fat people. Folks are entirely too sensitive these days. People have the right to disagree with things and we are absolutely welcome to our size preferences. I also do not have a problem with anyone that finds fat unhealthy. After all, it is factually correct that being obese is unhealthy. So no, I do not have an issue with anyone that does not embrace fat people. I take issue with those that feel the need to FAT SHAME and the people that are encouraging and accepting of this behavior.

You see, there is a difference between telling someone “I don’t want to date you” and “I don’t want to date you because you’re fat and in denial about it and need to lose weight.” Why would you even go there? Was it really necessary to be so nasty? Yet, this is happening every day, is being encouraged and has become so normalized that people do not always realize they are doing it. If I hear someone say they’re not being hateful to a fat person, they’re just “looking out for them” or “educating them on their health” one more time I might scream! When did it become okay to take on the role of a person’s nutritionist/doctor/bully/evil stepmother/demented savior/tormenter and tell them about their weight?! And how have people deluded themselves into thinking that fat people are oblivious of their size and need to be reminded of it? I’m telling you right now, I’ve got big thighs and I never forget!

Equally as frustrating is someone that justifies saying cruel things to a fat person by explaining that they couldn’t allow themselves to “say it’s okay to be fat because that would be a lie.” This one just blows my mind. Like, how is refraining from being rude to a fat person an endorsement of obesity? That doesn’t make sense! I mean, if you were nice to Bill Clinton, would that mean you endorsed him cheating on his wife? No. It would just mean that you were being polite.

Even worse? People are expressing “justified” outrage that fat people are calling themselves beautiful and therefore “glorifying” being overweight. Some folks ate Gabourey Sidibe alive (below) for her speech at the Gloria Awards and Gala! You know, because it’s a terrible thing for a human being to love themselves in spite of their flaws. Apparently, we should all hate our bodies until we hit some magical point where we’ll suddenly be worthy of admiration. And who knows where that point is?! There are a ton of beautiful women on magazine covers stating they have body issues. If the average-sized girl can’t win, the fat people are doomed!


Ask yourself this: Have you ever seen a fat celebrity on the cover of a magazine with a headline that reads “I’m fat, eat 30 cheeseburgers a day and until you do that, you’re not as beautiful as me.”

You haven’t and you’re not going to, because fat people are not glorifying being fat by publicly expressing confidence. They’re simply loving themselves. And not hiding because they’re not skinny.

Of course, the greatest perpetrator of fat shaming (and every other torment) is social media. I’m practically desensitized to the vast amount of Facebook and Twitter posts shaming fat people. Even my own friends are in on the hate! I recall a time when a person would lose weight and post pictures of their progress and I’d feel encouraged, especially if I knew them personally and how hard they’d worked. There would be no end to my smile as I read their caption, “Hard works pays off. I finally lost that extra 20 pounds!”

These days, I’m just shaking my head because, increasingly, captions are reading more like this: “Black people are killing themselves. Being obese is not okay! Join me at the gym and finally fall in love with yourself!”

I mean, damn. I can’t even be happy for you because I’m too busy hating myself, while simultaneously attempting to remember that I’ll still be worthy of life (and won’t die tomorrow) if I skip attending the gym with you, today. And dear God, what are we going to do about all of those other fat black people that are about to drop dead?!

Dramatic much? Oh yeah. Fat shaming? You bet! It’s like being in the black church and listening to an inspiring speech from the pastor, only for him to randomly veer off-topic and begin preaching about “binding the spirit of homosexuality.” Whether you agree with him or not, you can’t help but wonder where the hell it came from. And then, if you’re anything like me, you’re thinking it was SOOOO unnecessary!

But you know, the pastor is just trying to save the souls of poor homosexuals and fat shamers are just attempting to fix the obesity epidemic by stating the obvious. Wait…didn’t stating the obvious used to make people look stupid and redundant? Oh, yeah, it still does, doesn’t it? Unless you’re a fat shamer of course. Because then you’re just “being honest.”

More like, being an asshole! Asshole.

Here’s the thing: You disagreeing with me does not mean that I’m supposed to disagree with myself. If you are attempting to force YOUR idea of what I should be upon me, YOU are the problem. And I feel sorry for you, because I believe that maybe your insistence upon me not loving my body stems from the fact that you don’t quite love your own body. Ever notice how, with some people it doesn’t matter how many selfies they post or how many times they tell you about how beautiful they are…it rings false? Why would anyone try to project their issues on someone else? Misery really does love company.

I will not make a declaration that fat is or is not beautiful. Nor will I make a declaration that skinny is or is not beautiful. Instead, I am making a declaration that being ALIVE is absolutey beautiful. And everyday that you are alive is a day to work on being the best you and loving yourself no matter where you are on that journey. Self-love is not about size, but mentality, and a healthy mentality is the best way to ultimately achieve a healthy body.

So look, I don’t know your life or situation, nor do I care what the story is. It’s your existence. I’m simply saying, whether you’re sick, healthy, a gluttonous pig, fat, skinny, actively attempting to lose weight or not giving zero fucks either way…you deserve to love yourself and your body. And you NEED to love yourself and your body. Otherwise, you will not think that life is worth living.

And life is absolutely worth living! No matter what you look like.

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