Friday’s Blurbs… Dec. 21, 2012


My lovely parents are in town for Christmas…

Everything in my apartment is sticky. The tables, the buttons, the door handles, the floor…it’s all sticky. As a matter of fact, my niece is sticky. I don’t want her to touch me, but she can’t stop crawling on top of me. I love this little girl to death but I swear, she is disgusting. I’m afraid to move from this spot. Shit, I bet this spot is sticky!

When my niece gets on my nerves, I put on Netflix and say “Do you wanna watch Sponge Bob?!” She never fails to get excited. I know this is bad, but I can’t stop doing it. It’s the only way I can get a moment of peace. I think I’m going to be a bad mother.

The other day, I got into an argument with my sister about Christmas presents. I don’t think it’s worth breaking the bank when my niece is only 3 years old. My sister thinks my niece is old enough to know what Christmas is, and thus should have a ton of presents under the tree. Today, I’ve decided for sure that I’ve won. This is because I have a small box that I carried my Christmas presents from work in. For the past hour, my niece has played with this box. She has climbed into it, sat in it and carried things in it. This box was free and she’s having a blast. I rest my damn case.

My parents stay up all times of the night. They walk around talking, eating, listening to Gospel music….they just do a ton of crap all night. And I’m the unfortunate sucker that’s stuck listening to it. Funny though, since I’ve taken today off work, I’ve discovered that they’re so active at night because they take naps during the day. Yep. I’m listening to them snore right now. And I imagine that right when I’m ready to sleep, they’ll wake up. *sigh*

I allowed my stepfather to choose the RedBox movie and he chose a movie I’d already seen. This wouldn’t be a big deal, except, he literally cannot finish a movie. You see, whether it’s day or night, if a movie is on, he’ll fall asleep during it and then wake up at random intervals and talk about it, as if he’s actually paying attention. It’s like a cross between Tourette’s and Narcolepsy. I know this, and yet, I still let him choose the movie. Yes, it’s my fault, but this dude still owes me $1.27 cents when he wakes up.

Every time I get up to shower for work, my stepfather steps outside the door and says, “KeKe…do you mind if I get in there first?” Each time, I say it’s okay. But secretly, it’s not okay. Nobody wants to shower after someone takes a morning shit. *sigh* I just really wanted to get that off my chest.

Last night, my mom spilled a drink in my car. It wasn’t until I sat on a wet seat that I found out. And it wasn’t until I confronted her about it that she felt the need to tell me. *Woosah.*

This morning, I got into an argument with my mom. She couldn’t understand why I wasn’t answering her questions. I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t understand that talking to me, while I was sleeping, would yield silence. I finally yelled at her. Then she called me disrespectful. *sigh* I have to remember that some people are not blessed to still have their mothers.

Twice, since my family arrived, I’ve heard the sound of shattering glass. My niece was involved in neither of these incidents. The adults are breaking shit! *Blank Stare*

My mom went to the store and came back with wine, but no toilet paper. We’re currently out of toilet paper. I have to pee.

Happy Holidays!