My Thoughts: Billboard 2013 Performances

I  decided to skip watching the Billboards awards and just watch the performances online. My thoughts:


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1. Chris Brown needs to let his background dancers earn their paycheck. That fool messed up “Fine China.” I love that song! I am not going to forgive him for this for at least a month.


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2. Justin Bieber looked like what I imagined MC Hammer would’ve looked like if he was a spoiled kid from the suburbs, with a flair for the dramatic.


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3. Miguel is getting sued. He needs to get sued. Usually singers fly over fans on a dang wire. He out there jumping like his lil ass is tall. No ma’am!


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4. I like The Band Perry’s “Pioneer” cd and I liked them live. Boom!


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5. That Macklemore dude has a dead animal on his head and a voice like a raspy, caucasian Berry White. So weird. I’d rather just listen to him on the radio than see him.

6. Can’t find the Nicki Minaj video and I ain’t looking for it. I already know she’s going to be terrible. I’ll watch for about a minute, then cut it off. My bestie texted me to confirm she sucked. Like I said, I already knew that.


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7. All I know is that Selena Gomez dated the white MC Hammer. That’s enough to make me skip the video. Wasn’t she on the Disney channel? I’m getting old so I don’t know anymore.


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8. Bruno Mars is the shit. Chris Brown should seek out his advice on how to perform a good song and emulate Michael Jackson. Or at least ask him out to find some treasure.


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9. I enjoyed Taylor Swift’s performance. I never heard that heffa breathe, so I’m betting she had plenty background assistance. They’ve figured out how to make it more realistic you know. That’s okay though. If the performance is fun enough, nobody cares. Chris Brown could also learn from Taylor. Also, as a sidenote, this girl annoys me. We were mad at Kanye for hating some years back, but now I bet most people agree. She should sit down. Or maybe I’m just mad she didn’t sing “I knew you were trouble.” Hmm. Nah. She should sit down.


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10. Will.i.am didn’t sing “Britney Bitch” so I didn’t watch and Justin didn’t change his outfit, so I really didn’t want to watch. Where are the damn Peas? I like Fergie.


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11. Were Pitbull and Christina all live? Nah, I think they had assistance. I don’t really care though. This is a party song. It’s spose to be recorded. And everybody knows Christina has pipes. I’d rather talk about how I’d PAY to not see Pitbull dressed like a snazzy ass preacher during at least one performance. And how Christina looks like somebody’s momma. Which she is. And how, she should’ve wore sunglasses so she could look freakishly well-preserved, like the guy from A-ha. Sunglasses are amazing.

12. I haven’t seen Prince yet, but I know he’s gonna pimp it. That’s what pimps do. Pimp it.

13. I’m not going to watch J.Lo. She should’ve stopped after Jenny from the Block. Then she should have petitioned “Out of Sight 2” cause that’s the last time I loved her. *sigh* Her old ass is sexy though!


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14. Ed Sheeran proves that we owe it to ourselves not to consider appearance when dealing with voices. He sounds amazing and looks like a homeless skater. Eh, but I support the ginger that sounds good. That ginger sounds good!

15. Why would anyone want to watch a David Guetta performance? Just listen to it in the club, car or at a party. Skipped that.

I don’t have the other videos and don’t really care to find them. Except the Prince video. Prince is a G.

2 thoughts on “My Thoughts: Billboard 2013 Performances

  1. thanks for the highlights. i wasn’t going to search for any of these on my own. even though i’ve been curious since seeing the comments about miguel kicking that poor woman in the face all over facebook. good work!

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