Saturday’s Blurbs… Nov. 17, 2012


I do believe I have woken up drunk. I have no words for that.

While talking to coworkers about finding a stack of $1 bills in my pocket, I happened to mention that they were left over from the strip club. Some of the women promptly asked me why I’d waste my money in one. I was shocked. I mean, some of them were Republicans! Now, given that all Republicans want to talk about is the dang economy, you’d think they’d be down with supporting it however they could. And hey, making it rain on strippers is supporting the economy in the barest form. Strippers got bills too!

My coworkers and I always say: “We really need to get around to having another happy hour. We haven’t gone in forever!” What we neglect to say is that every time we go out, we get completely shit faced, which leads to us feeling perfectly okay about not drinking for a while. My bet is that, in about another week or so, someone will get to rumbling that we need to go out again. At that moment, I will remember that today I woke up drunk and I’ll shudder inside, but out loud I’ll say, “I know right?! We really do need to. We haven’t gone in forever!” I call that the Circle of Drunk.

There’s no breakfast food or coffee creamer in my house. Usually, this spurs me to go out for brunch or Dunkin Donuts. Today, it’s just spurring me to go back to bed hungry. I’d kill for a sober girlfriend right now, or even a sober friend. Hell, I’d take a sober enemy. Just so long as they’d agree to bring me coffee.

Yesterday at Happy Hour, I was reminded of how much size matters to men. After passing my Galaxy S3 around and placing their miniature phones on top of it, every guy at the table eyed me enviously. Then they all pretended like they didn’t want one. Those were haters…that I suspect will be upgrading soon.

When does one go for the first kiss? I’m thinking that you should probably go for it when you hit the point where it’s all you think about. I’m not sure though…am I over thinking this?

I’m supposed to go see the final Twilight today. Right now, I totally want to see it at the Cinebistro. There’s just something about sitting in a dark room, in a big chair, while someone serves me food that sounds SO appealing right now. However, I hope that my hangover won’t be dictating my decision-making process by movie time. That damn place costs too much!

I don’t think it’s ever taken me this long to type a post. Perhaps I am a writer, because that’s the only way to explain how I could feel this crappy and still want to write. The computer screen is so bright right now, it looks like Jesus is coming. My goodness, I hope I’m sober when he gets here.

Happy Saturday!