Whenever I’m on Facebook, I’m always saddened when…
A woman dresses nice and posts a picture with a caption that says: “I’m on my grown woman ish. Professional mode! Corporate!”
Look, all you did was put on a skirt and a dress shirt. This is your idea of being on grown woman ish?! This is worth calling out? Are you saying that most of the time you’re on some other kind of ish? Do you look like a homeless crackhead the rest of the time? I’m just saying…if you have to put a spotlight on looking like an adult, maybe you need to step your adult game up.
A person uploads a picture of their illegal substances.
I’m not judging you. I support you if you want to enjoy illegal activities that aren’t hurting other people. Just…it’s ILLEGAL. Sometimes you really ought to keep things to yourself. I mean, you could LOSE YOUR JOB over this. Assuming your simple ass has one.
People with obviously screwed up lives are always putting up “how to live better” advice on their Facebook pages.
Look, either you’re not taking your own advice or it’s bad advice…cause your life sucks. Stop spreading your idiocy.
When people upload pictures of themselves in the bathroom at the club.
So let me get this straight…you came out of the stall, then posed with your ass in the air? Was this before or after your washed your hands? And what about this setting, full of wet toilet paper on the floors and possibly broken bathroom stalls screamed “Photo Shoot”?! You know what, I don’t want to know. I don’t care. UGH!
When people CONSTANTLY upload pictures of how fat they used to be, then put it next to how skinny they are now.
This irks the crap out of me. I’m glad you lost weight…congratulations on being healthier. (And I really mean that. It’s not an easy thing to do.) But seriously, losing weight isn’t the reason you’re a good or better person. And I’m sorry, but your weight lost experience should not define you! If your life is all about not being fat, I feel sorry for you. And your self esteem. Which will still be fucked up when you get into your bikini. Newsflash: Skinny people have body issues too!
When people upload pictures or information that obviously has the potential to be fake and say “I hope this isn’t true.”
Hey, guess what…you can Google it! Why would you put up something that you don’t even think is right? Why not just look it up yourself? I don’t want to call you stupid, but what you’re doing is stupid.
When people upload a ton of face pictures on a daily basis, but have no body pictures.
We already know what you look like! You are sitting in that exact same position, every day. We have it memorized. Try out a new position. Better yet…lets see below the neck. I always wonder if you’re not actually sitting there in dirty drawls and cut up shorts, after only glamorizing the upper portion of your body anyway. You are pure comedy.
When people put all those dang hashtags on their photos…and they don’t even link to Twitter or Instagram.
Facebook doesn’t use hashtags. What are you doing?! And why are you using so MANY of them? It’s so…thirsty. Here are some hashtags for you: You’re a #dumbass that #acts like you #DontHaveAGED! I am #unfriending your #stupid #ASS!