Tampa Got the Republican National Convention!


Everyone is talking about how the RNC didn’t have a lot of protestors or even customers showing up at some businesses. I figure, the only reason why this is news is because these people have never been to Tampa. You see, this is a city where:

  • People wear flip flops and shorts in nice restaurants.
  • Even people WITHOUT a car avoid the public transportation system if they can because it’s terrible.
  • It’s almost always at least 88 degrees.
  • People often die while riding a bike or walking somewhere.
  • Most people avoid downtown anyway. There isn’t much to do down there after one or two visits and you need a freaking printed guide in order to find parking. Plus, it’s full of homeless people and borders the projects. Always fun to know.
  • Most people are laid back, chillin and never in any particular rush unless they’re behind the wheel of a car. Natives talk slow and move slow. Eventually, non natives pick up this and emulate. This ain’t New York. It’s slower paced.
  • You can fill up a parking lot full of food trucks, but not a museum, Downtown.
  • Pill mills get raided by police all the dang time. Basically, a large portion of Tampa is high.
  • Nobody likes bad traffic and this city clearly wasn’t planned to ever have to accommodate it. I mean, downtown had reroutes and freaking barricades up. Nobody that lived here was going anywhere near that area unless they had to.
  • Umm…it’s Hurricane Season…apparently whoever plans the RNC didn’t get the memo!

I’m just saying…what about any of that screams a loud and crazy RNC? For the most part, the natives just stayed at home and watched on TV while enjoying their AC. Tampa is laid back man. I’d like to think we Democrats and Republicans coexist peacefully. I mean, we have freaking beaches and lots of sunshine. Aint nobody really pressed to fight all the time. Now…the Ron Paul supporters get pretty crunk, lol, but aint nobody stuttin them!

Gotta love Tampa!