Wednesday’s Blurbs …

My goddaughter and I. The kid is already taller than me!

I was sitting on my porch enjoying my coffee. It was the first thing I’d digested. Meanwhile, my 13 year old goddaughter had already destroyed a pack of blueberries, half a bag of chips (you know, the big one that’s supposed to last), and a double lunch meat sandwich.

I’m talking about, I’d give up a whole titty and an ass cheek to get that child’s metabolism. The kid is 5’6″, lanky, and can eat all day.

How about, she gone come sit on the porch with me, poke at her cheeks, and start talking about she feels like she’s “getting fat.”

I just stared at her. If she fat, yall need to order me an episode of that 600 pound show. I finally said, “Honey, you’re not fat. You’re still a kid. You have no idea what your body is yet.”

But in my head, I was knocking her punk ass out. I was sitting on the porch looking like a beached whale in some goddamn sweat pants, meanwhile, she had on shorts so small I couldnt get anything out of the fabric but some cheap ankle socks.


Let me tell you, while I might give up plenty for a youthful metabolism, there is NO AMOUNT OF ANYTHING that would make me agree to be a teenager again. The road to self love is paved with potholes, misconceptions, low self-esteem, mean girls, and a chase for non-existent perfection. She is on Instagram all day, receiving a message that she’s not good enough.

Poor kid. One day, she will look back and realize that moment on the porch was the highest her titties ever sat. Youth. It really is wasted on the young.

Happy Hump Day! This world is hard on our babies. Go tell a kid they’re beautiful.

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